A LITTLE PAIN

 

Life is a sequence of decisions you have to make, decisions you force to make and events who are related to you without that you will be able to influence them but still they will effect you. For the part of life, you are responsible for the result of your acting, you have a slight tendency to rate occasions in good or bad. Hundreds of unrated daily decisions will lead to this one event, like the one event I remembered today for example while I was sitting in my comfortable chair, listened happily to music and without expecting the following emotional meltdown. A piece of music reminded me of a certain person and an unchangeable moment which lead to a big change in my routine. Intelligence is often described as the ability of reflection which characterize the base of a learning process and at some point it becomes a base of mental pain. It is called 'regret'.

As life is a big journey there are lots of opportunities to makes decisions we rate negatively after they became a unchangeable part of the past. The consequences of our failures will be seen as avoidable and beside the remembrance of the event we use a dangerous instrument of our brain: imagination. After taking apart the circumstances of that particular situation, we see lots of little 'Why's'. We are able to construct a better ending. Depending on how painful the real event influenced us and on how good we draw the untrue scenario in our imagination, the level of self-destruction and blaming varies. Unfortunately, in this situation, it becomes hard to see the good effect of pain, the chance to learn. In good and evil results of this learning-process you can't denie that it will change you. A personal decision will always be a part of you. It depends on your method of analysing which is a reflex to get back the control on things which matter. The outcome of this analysis is based on hope or acceptance. The fruit of acceptance is humor, the fruit of hope is self-destruction and leads you in a loop of repetition. Introverts and extroverts react differentely to this issue. The first group is stronger vulnerable for depressions and self-punishment, the second group can loose themselfes by overtalking a situation and blowing it up. But a big factor in rating the change in plans and expections for both, is time. Some regrets change because of ensuing lifetime-experiences. Some views change because you can work on the situation to turn the page. For some events the door is closed forever. These might be the hardest ones to handle. It aren't the mistakes we experience in our life which make us unhappy, it will be the capability how to minimize our regrets, the acceptance as a part of your life and furthermore it is important what you learn out of it.

 

"There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would. There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.

And if you are very, very lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last and yet will remain with you for life.

Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it.”
- Jim Butcher, White Night